When Final Wishes Clash Within Families

Mark Krause, President of Krause Funeral Home...www.krausefuneralhome.com
Mark Krause, President of Krause Funeral Home

Throughout my decades of funeral service experience, I have been asked many times what it’s like to be a funeral director, and whether my work is somehow depressing and morbid. While it is true that the work I do here, alongside the whole Krause Funeral Home team, is not easy, I always respond that above all else, my work is immensely rewarding. It is a tremendous honor to have someone entrust to you the planning of a loved one’s final farewell. I am also constantly inspired by the resilience of the human spirit and the strength of the bond between family when they face a loss together. It is true tragedy often brings out the best in people.

There are times, however, when the emotional strain of losing a loved one, coupled with the stress of having to make dozens of practical decisions can result in tension, or even discord. Family dynamics can be difficult to navigate under even the best circumstances, so you can imagine what a challenge it can be when people are in the throes of grief.

There is one thing we have seen soften, or even eliminate, this strain – choosing to preplan your own funeral. This is one of the many benefits to making your own prearrangements. Here are some of the top things you will want address with one of our preplanning specialists in order to lessen the chance of any disagreements in your family:

1.) The choice between cremation or burial.

While cremation has become more popular, and is certainly within the mainstream at this point, some people still have reservations about it. There are even some religions that expressly forbid it. If you have strong feelings on the topic, you should make your wishes known in your prearrangements so it doesn’t become a topic for debate after you’re gone. If cremation with Krause Funeral Home is your preference, your family will have peace of mind, knowing we’re the only provider in our area that can offer the Cremation with Confidence™ guarantee.

2.) Funeral costs.

Money is most certainly one of the biggest causes of arguments after a loved one dies. There are several reasons for that:

  • Certain family members may disagree over who should pay for your funeral.
  • Those who survive you may have differing income levels. Those who might have less money could feel pressure to spend more than they can afford just to “keep up” or show how much they loved you.
  • It can be easy to overspend when emotions run high. But since not everyone in your family might be tempted in that direction, it can cause disagreements.

Avoid family tensions by preplanning your funeral....www.krausefuneralhome.comIf you are able to prepay for your arrangements, you are eliminating money from the equation during a time when your family should be grieving your loss, not stressing over financial considerations and navigating potential areas of disagreement. Our team is always happy to help you explore all of your funding options, including potential veterans benefits.

3.) Service style.

Some members of your family may want to keep your farewell simple and intimate, while others could want to remember you with a large, lavish service and reception. When you preplan, you can communicate to your family exactly what your wishes are. If you would prefer something very traditional, we can help you plan a visitation and funeral service, perhaps with a formal dinner to follow. Want your farewell to be a little different? Consider arriving to a unique celebrant service in our Motorcycle Hearse and serving your friends a toast of your favorite beer! You can also inject the service with thoughtful, personalized touches that will communicate who you were and how much you loved your family.

They say preplanning is one of the greatest gifts of love you can give your family, and at Krause Funeral Home, we believe that to be true. If you’ve chosen to preplan your funeral, share in the comments below why you’re glad you made that choice.

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