Helen Coates

Helen Coates (nee Arnold) passed away while sleeping on November 18, 2016, as her family held her hands at her bedside. She was 80. She fought a long, courageous battle against lung cancer and weakened hips, but her heart remained strong throughout.

Helen, who was known to many as “Saint Helen,” will always be remembered for her love of the natural world; of trees and birds, flowers and deer, and all things furry (especially those that wag their tails). Gardening was a great joy to her. She carefully painted her yard with bright flowering species, and she continued to work the soil as long as her legs allowed. In her earlier years, she created big, beautiful quilts with intricate patterns—entirely by hand. She made the quilts simply to give them away.

Helen is also famous for her devotion to—and fervent promotion of—cocktail hour, which she viewed as a necessary daily ritual to calm the mind and bolster physical and social health. Many a worry was allayed over stiff drinks (a dry martini for her) served with cheese, crackers and summer sausage (sometimes herring, too). Helen fed everyone she met—people and animals. She kept a pocketful of treats because she never knew when she might encounter a hungry pooch on the street. Or at the store. Or even in the rehab center where she spent several months.

Helen was born in Milwaukee to Helen and Frank Arnold. She graduated from Messmer High School, where she accrued a coterie of classmates whose friendships thrive today. After graduating, she worked at Pabst Brewing Company (the nation’s largest, at that time). In the following years, she funneled her energies into caring for her husband, Gary, and three strong-willed children with frequently ridiculous demands. She peeled the skin off her son’s hotdogs. She carted her daughter home for lunch each day when said daughter refused to eat at school. She ferried her other daughter cross-town on school nights so that she could ice skate at the Racine Zoo pond with friends. Later, she worked for the Law Offices of Joanne Huelsman. But family, home, and hospitality remained her passion and lifelong career. Helen literally gave everything she had to the people she loved in life.

Helen is survived by Gary Coates, her husband of 60 years; her son and daughter-in-law David and Diana Coates of Mukwonago; her daughter and son-in-law Kathie and John Buono of Pewaukee; her daughter and son-in-law Karen Coates and Jerry Redfern of Bosque Farms, New Mexico; her granddaughter Melissa Mucklin of Milwaukee; her granddaughter and grandson-in-law Megan and Patrick Hamilton of Milton; her beloved great grandson Jameson Hamilton; numerous nieces and nephews; several adoptive cats and dogs; hundreds of birds, squirrels, and raccoons; and a herd of deer that inhabits the woods along Independence Drive in Brookfield.

The family would like to express their deep gratitude to Dr. Leena Varkey, the Wheaton Home Hospice staff and everyone at Angels Grace Hospice for the loving care given to Helen throughout her battle. In lieu of flowers, memorials are suggested to St. John Vianney Catholic Parish for its capital campaign and the Elmbrook Humane Society.

Visitation at St. John Vianney Catholic Church, 1755 N. Calhoun Road, Brookfield, on Wednesday, November 23, at 9:00 AM to 10:45 AM. Remembrances at 10:45 AM. Mass of Christian Burial at 11:00 AM. Burial to follow at St. Joseph Catholic Cemetery in Waukesha.