Shirley Ray

Shirley Ray died peacefully on March 17, 2023 at her residence in Brookfield, surrounded by family and caregivers. Born Shirley Mae Tacheny on August 28, 1930, she was one of a family of twelve children growing up with her parents in Mankato, MN. The stories she would recount about her pranks and adventures of her early adult life, in spite of her strict education at Good Counsel Academy (a Catholic girl’s high school) leave a memory in her loved ones of her mischievous expressions to this day!

She married Charles John Ray in 1957, had two children – Stephanie and Thomas – and moved several times over a 24-year period, from the Midwest to the East Coast and back again, as John advanced his career with the JC Penney Company. The family settled in Oconomowoc after opening the Ben Franklin Family Center (later renamed Ben Franklin Crafts) in 1973. Shirley and John, along with their managers and employees, established an ethic of excellence in retail that served Oconomowoc and the greater community for 47 years.

Shirley’s skills were not limited to her partnership in marriage and in the store, but also as an extraordinary Mother, homemaker, seamstress, cook, volunteer, and family financial manager. She was a consummate organizer and planner. She and John proudly supported their children through college at the UW Madison. They shared many a travel adventure to various parts of the US and the world throughout their 57 years of marriage. They enjoyed close contact with family and friends, golf, and a home in Savannah, GA.

A part of the “Greatest Generation,” of the World War II era, Shirley’s stoic attitude and optimism showed itself in various ways: She rarely complained when she was sick. Her humorous quip for minor woes: “Shut up and drink your beer!” When her firstborn lamented about an unhappy moment, she would say, “Well, you can’t be happy every day.” These epigrams, in a broader sense, embodied the mindset which drove Shirley to continually move forward through challenges and tragedies in life, and embrace victories and happy moments. As one close relative quipped, “Shirley never wants to leave the party!” This spirit, combined with her compassion and love, is truly an ever-living legacy to us all. She was truly loved and admired by many.

Shirley is survived by her daughter, Stephanie (John) Rose, son Thomas (the late Andrea) Ray, grandchildren Valerie, Kate, Rachel, and Aubrey; brother Bernard (Gigi) Tacheny, sisters Betty Gautieri, Patty Swearingen, Rita Tacheny, and Charlene Sullivan.

Visitation and funeral mass will be at Queen of Apostles Church, N35 W23360 Capitol Drive, Pewaukee, Wisconsin on April 25, 2023 from 10:00 am until the time of Mass at 11:00 AM. Private inurnment will be held.

In lieu of flowers, donations may be made to: Queen of Apostles Church, Pewaukee; St. Jerome’s Church, Oconomowoc, and charities supporting veterans.