Passed away on Monday, August 15, 2011 just as the sun was rising, one day shy of her 80th birthday. She was surrounded by family. Beloved mother of Dana (Paul) Larson (Lily and Anna), Elizabeth Humphries (Aaron and Sarah), Sara Jane (Dan Brach) Humphries (Lizzy and Leah) and John Phares (Kay Rhode) Humphries (Gjerda and Stefan). Dear sister of Carol Gundersen and Jon Westerlund. Aunt of Andrea, Jon, Leif, and Lisa Gundersen, the children of her Swedish cousins, and "shared mom" for all the kids in the extended clan of Siepmanns, Eimermans, Kurtzes, Mauers, and dozens more.Ruth Marie Westerlund was born in LaCrosse, WI, second child of Eleanor Magdalene Skillestad and John Roy Westerlund. Both parents were of strong stock, Norwegian (she) and Swedish (he). Eleanor's maternal grandparents, Grandma Susan and Grandpa Sam built from the land a farm in Kenyon Minnesota, raising crops and livestock. This was the place of many brightly remembered childhood games and experiences, and our mom told many of them! Favorite stories were of crowded holidays, of Christmas tress lit with real candles, the horses being hitched up with bells in a bad snowstorm to get to the relatives for Christmas dinner; huge snowfalls where the children could slide down dinosaur sized drifts from the second story farmhouse window riding Susan's baking pans! Tons of Norwegian recipes have been handed down from Grandma Susan, including our beloved lefse, hard tak, Swedish meatballs, lingonberry and strawberry jam, "frukt Sopa" fruit soup made with fresh raspberries, oodles of Christmas cookies, scented with the everlasting love of cardamom, cinnamon, nutmeg and cloves. And who could forget the julekake (Xmas bread)! –bejeweled with red and green cherries, raisins and walnuts, and infused with cardamom. And of course, occasionally a lutefisk dinner with boiled potatoes and melted butter"but this would be a special treat for a family living through the depression, as Sam and Susan, Roy and Eleanor's families did. The farm saw tough times of hard labor, like the threshing time, when rough farmhands and uncles sat around Grandma's kitchen table devouring her loaves and meats and potatoes and carrots and pies and butter, of course, lots of home churned butter. Little grandchild Ruth Marie would watch and listen to the whole display. Kitchen tables have become a mainstay of family lore, tradition, and places to work a problem or sadness flipping it over and over, while talking with mom or Gran. These stories are part of the lifeblood that Gran gave her kids and grandkids through the years.Granny's father, Roy, was the source of many of mom's favorite stories. One of four children, he was born in Sweden and traveled as a child with his parents to America, only to return with his siblings and mother, Tekla, when times became very tough for them. Mom told us that her grandma Tekla so missed Sweden, that she could not bear to stay in the US. As a young boy, Roy's joy in the ocean and his grandfather's shipping vessel, caused him to wander too far from Tekla one day, and become lost in the shipping yards in Sweden. He was found, eventually, but never to outlive that story. He was also the child who stepped too close to dock and fell in the channel! As a seafaring man, he was scheduled and bought a ticket to travel from London to New York on the ill-fated Titanic. As luck would have it (for him and all his progeny!) he missed the boat due to a storm in the North Sea. Had he made that voyage, none of us would be here today. Mom's remembrance of her father includes Roy's fondness for the ocean, and his patriotism which prompted him to enlist in the U.S. Merchant Marine as a young man in WWI. He dodged fate a second time when his vessel was torpedoed and he spent three days on a life raft.Her stories included when Roy met Eleanor, he threw his hat in her lap, according to mom, and called out "that's the girl for me!" Mom has told this story so often, and we think it is a most romantic display of affection and longing.Granny Ruth was raised in a home steeped in strong coffee, buttery cookies (when they could afford butter), and love. Her dad started an auto painting shop at the height of the depression. He was highly regarded throughout the community, a trait that allowed him to grow his business on honesty and a strong work ethic, while other businesses failed. At the same time, Nana (Eleanor) did her best to keep the kids in warm coats and mittens. Eleanor had received a degree in nursing, and was the only one in her family to graduate from college. As a young mom, during the depression, times were so hard that she cut up her nurse's cape in order to make snowsuits for the little ones, Carol, Ruth and Jon. This must have been an early lesson in love, and mothering for mom. As a young child, Mom adored reading. However, being of strong Lutheran faith, the only written materials in the house were "Lutheran Standard" magazines, and the bible. Mom was starved for the knowledge that books could give her. In her elementary years, mom went to a two-room schoolhouse where she read every single book in the library. She had a lifelong love of reading and learning that she shared with everyone she knew. In her later years she became very interested in Abraham Lincoln, having read many books on his life. She could tell you amazing things you had never known about the antebellum south, about the Civil War, and how Lincoln agonized and strategized as a President, and as a husband and father (for he lost love, and children, and struggled with deep depression). Mom graduated from LaCrosse Logan High School, and went to UW-Madison, and received a degree in education. In college, Mom was a member of the Delta Zeta Sorority, where she served as President for a year. At UW, mom met Harry Humphries on a double date, except they weren't the date! When Harry "The Whip" and mom did start dating, they were totally enamored of each other, and they were married after mom graduated in 1953. They settled in the Milwaukee area, and just as her dad had done, mom's husband started a business. At the same time, mom also was an entrepreneur, and using her degree in education she started the "Happy Days Nursery School." During the summer, she worked with children with disabilities, and ran a camp for the children on Crooked Lake. She was a successful businesswoman, and while her business ended with the beginning of a family, she had gained skills she would use later in life as a real estate broker.Mom and dad started a family in 1955, with the birth of their first daughter Dana. Mom was very tolerant of the new dad's antics, including baby races with his buddy Ron Siepmann. Ron and Mary's baby daughter Karen, was pitted in crawling and creeping races on the grass, against baby Dana. We're not sure who won those matches! In 1957 Elizabeth was born, followed by Sara in 1959. With each new child came more love and activity in their busy home. Finally, their son John was born in 1965. During these years Ruth was elected the first female on the church council, and first female deacon at Calvary Lutheran Church in Brookfield. She was a youth director at Calvary, a longtime choir member, and taught confirmation for many years. She was instrumental in the church's calling Pastor Fred Hallanger who brought a wealth of knowledge and international experience growing up in Africa, to the suburban Brookfield community. Harry and Ruth were active in the Ecumenical Institute of Chicago with other members of Calvary. This group was an international faith-based initiative organized to solve the problem of world hunger and poverty. Ruth was also a member of the American Association of University Women during the 1970's, as well as a strong member of the National Organization for Women. She believed passionately in women's rights, and the rights of all people, regardless of race, gender, religion, or sexual orientation.Through their early years of parenting, mom and dad focused on education and life experience for their children. They loved to take the kids downhill or cross-country skiing in the winter, and to the cabin in the summer. Every year there were family trips to wonderful beaches, ski hills, and foreign countries and cities. Christmas 1976 was spent in Sweden visiting Dana and our relatives. While there was never a lack of resources in the home"from a swimming pool, an airplane, snowmobiles, and elaborate trips, both Ruth and Harry made sure their kids knew that others in the world did not have it so lush. They taught that the blessings of good fortune should be shared with those less fortunate than oneself. They sponsored an African pastor from Tanzania, "Isaac Nsibu", who lived with us for months while he studied with our church pastors. They also sponsored a Hmong family when the Khmer Rouge destroyed the life and culture of Cambodia during the Vietnam War. This extended royal family, whose patriarch, Cheng Heng, was past President of Cambodia, came and lived with us, and other friends while starting a new life far away from the devastation in their homeland. Ruth and Harry did not shy away from life, diversity of culture and belief, and taught their children that nothing in life is guaranteed. Sharing what you have, being grateful, and honoring the cultures of the world were key lessons that Ruth and Harry gave their children, and tried to exemplify in their lives. Harry had a wonderful joie de vivre that was contagious and invigorating. Ruth had a calm steadfastness that could never be shaken, even as we know, through loss and finally, death.Mom survived the sudden passing of her husband Harry following his courageous struggle with mental illness, on August 18th, 1979. In that difficult time, mom learned and modeled a new dimension of love. Taking one step at a time, she gathered and held her children throughout those years with bravery and resolve. While we all processed our often discordant feelings and were challenged in understanding, mom held us together with love and constant gratitude for life. She never accepted the stigma of mental illness which can make this type of loss so much more agonizing and isolating for survivors. While her faith was shaken deeply, she later would reflect to us how she realized that "where sin abounds, there grace much more abounds" (Romans 5:20).As a new single parent and sole breadwinner, mom went back to work in the business world and public sector. She was particularly proud of her work for Wisconsin State Senator Susan Engeleiter, the first woman appointed administrator of the Small Business Association by President George H. W. Bush. Harry had helped organize the Association years before. While Ruth was a strong democrat, she valued Susan as a strong advocate for women, and for small business, and was never one to snub her nose at bipartisanship. After working with Senator Engeleiter, mom studied and passed the real estate exam and received her license, once again utilizing her entrepreneurship skills. She worked for 18 years with ShoreWest Realty in Wauwatosa, finally retiring at age 72. A strong work ethic, great business sense, and her ability to care for others and foster friendship everywhere she went, made mom a great success in the world of Real Estate. She developed a great group of professional friends with whom she shared trips to the cabin and many events in the community.In retirement, Ruth continued to grow and educate others. As a grandmother, she dedicated herself to unconditional love and support for her grandchildren. She loved to prepare and give gifts for all the children in her life, items selected with great care. Her religious faith was renewed late in life, and as she struggled with the lung cancer that would lead to her death, she thrived with new connections and new friends. With mom's passing, we ask you all to remember her love and compassion. Tusen Tak.The visitation will be at the Funeral Home on Thursday August 18, 2011 from 4:00 to 6:45 PM. A brief candle lighting service will follow at 7:00 PM. The Funeral Service will be held at ST. MATTHEW'S EVANGELICAL LUTHERAN CHURCH (1615 Wauwatosa Avenue, Wauwatosa, WI 53213) on Friday, August 19, 2011 at 1:00 PM. A reception will follow. In lieu of flowers memorials are appreciated to Wisconsin Public Radio, c/o Ruth Humphries Memorial, 821 University Avenue, Madison, WI 53706 or to St. Matthew's Ev. Lutheran Church c/o International Food Program at the above address.
