(Née Evenson) Entered into Eternal Life Wednesday, July 9, 2014, age 81. Beloved wife of the late Richard. Loving mother of Lauren Bennetts and Lisa (Steven) Tibbals. Devoted grandma of Mina Mirhoseini, Sarah and Shannon Tibbals. Great-grandma of Abygail Rose Kohler. Also loved by many other relatives and friends.
Visitation at the Funeral Home, 12401 West National Avenue, Wednesday, July 16, 3:00-5:45 PM. Funeral Service 6:00 PM. Private entombment at Wisconsin Memorial Park.
Retired from M&I Bank after 25 years of service and volunteered at West Allis Memorial Hospital. A special thank you to the kind and caring staff at Lexington Heritage.
"Mom, you will always be loved, remembered and missed"
My Autobiography (letter to my family)
Written by Lorraine Bennetts
I was born in a farm house in Colfax, Wisconsin during the depression on August 21, 1932. My life started on a farm table, brought into the world with the help of my two grandmother midwives and a country doctor. I was not expected to survive and all efforts were given to my mother during the very difficult delivery. Being tough Norwegians, we both survived- in a house where bats flew out of the attic at night and back in the morning. My father share cropped that farm and sold chickens 5 for a dollar.
When I was about 2 or 3 years old, we moved to Waukesha and lived in an upper flat. All three of us kids got scarlet fever and my father had to move out temporarily. He left groceries at the foot of the stairs and I remember falling down those stairs, trying to see daddy.
When we lived there, a photographer came to the house to take my first picture. There were no baby pictures during the depression. When he tossed me into the air to try and make me laugh, I cried instead.
My dad then got a job at the Milwaukee Road in Milwaukee as a machinist and we moved to 72nd and Bluemound and lived in a rented house until I was 14. I attended Blain School, K-6th grade. Polio was rampant during those years and we were sometimes confined to our yards for entire summers. I also had whooping cough during that period. Our games were "Annie Annie Over", when we would throw a ball over the garage, back and forth, and "Kick The Can" in the street. Great fun! No TV then, but we enjoyed radio programs like "I love a mystery" and "The Shadow" on Saturday nights, sitting on the floor around our RCA radio.
We always went to Sunday school at Nativity Lutheran Church and I sang my first solo in the Christmas program when I was 5- "When my mamas busy all the live long day, then I take my dolly, little Anna May, and I tell her stories of the Christ Child dear- that's the one my dolly likes the best to hear". Mother always made me a new dress for the Christmas programs and everyone would get a little box of hard candy.
I joined the Junior Arians in about 3rd grade and was released from school early to attend rehearsals at Jefferson Hall, 27th & Fondulac one day a week. I rode the street car and always took twinkies for a snack. The Arians preformed at various places, like the Auditorium and the Pabst Theater and I sang a solo or two during those concerts.
When I was in 7th grade I started Juneau High School- a 7-12th grade school in the neighborhood. When I was a freshman, my parents were evicted from our house. The owners had lost it during very hard times and if my parents would have had $500, they could have bought that house. Times were hard in 1946 and people were still going for food with coaster wagons. Somehow my parents were able to finance a lot in New Berlin and built a basement- which we all moved into while the concrete was still oozing. We had no electricity, no water, no plumbing and not even a door on our "new home". We had a wood-burning stove, which I sat by with a kerosene lamp to do my homework. I tried to dissect a frog for my biology exam and, frustrated, I threw it into the stove. The formaldehyde woke everyone up and almost drove us out!
Shortly before moving to New Berlin, I had met Dick when he moved to Park Hill Ct, around the corner from where we lived on 72nd street. The Luther League kids visited new teens in the neighborhood. He attended W. Division High School. We "hit it off", although the attraction was rather one-sided. His. Not remotely interested in him romantically, when he showed up at my front door, I would run out the back!
After moving to our basement home in Waukesha, I rode the rapid transit to school- a high speed rail that took 22 minutes from Waukesha to downtown Milwaukee.
After a couple of accidents, the service was discontinued, much to the dismay of all of us who lived "in the boonies"!
Neighbors of ours raised Alaskan Malamutes for show dogs and breeding and their howling at night certainly added to the suburban atmosphere!
After the rapid transit was discontinued, I had to walk a mile to the bus stop on 124th & Greenfield- past several taverns and Greenfield Park. No streetlights or sidewalks- very scary! But I loved Juneau and participated in many things- clarinet in the band until I could no longer rent the clarinet and my parents could not afford to buy one, thus ending my clarinet lessons. I sang in the choir and many other variety shows. I was editor and co- editor of the school newspaper, The Pioneer, and was a member of the Jr. and Sr. Math Honor Society. As a senior, I had the female lead as Hildegard in our class play, "We Shook The Family Tree"- great fun, but after the after school rehearsals, I had to walk the scary mile from the bus stop, often in the dark.
By that time, after years of his persistence, I had realized that Dick was not so bad after all and I had fallen in love with him. When I was a senior, he had gotten his drivers license, thus making our dates much easier, transportation wise.
I had been accepted to Wisconsin State Teachers College, now UWM, and had been assigned to a "big sorority sister". However, my big brother, Ray, who had served in the Navy at age 17 in WW2 and was attending Colorado School of Mines on the GI bill, discovered he had no more GI bill assistance. So, instead of going to college, I happily took a job at M & I Bank at age 17 and sent him money to finish his college. I graduated from Juneau on Friday and started work at M & I on Monday, thanks to a neighbor, Werner Blom, who worked in personnel there. I rode with him and several other M & I people in the neighborhood downtown to N. Water Street. My starting salary was $130.00 a month and I sent $50 a month to Ray. He still had a lean Senior year and upon graduation, he was commissioned 2nd Lt. in the Army and off he went to Korea where he served in the topographical battalion flying in unarmed planes over enemy territory taking pictures to make maps. When we didn't hear from him for months, it was an un-nerving time to say the least! Dick and I became engaged on Christmas, 1952 and were married on June 13th, 1953. Ray returned home 3 days after our wedding!
I haven't yet mentioned my dear sister, Sylvia, who married her soul-mate, the Rev. Glenn Midthun in 1950. His life as a minister has taken them to many interesting places, but as a result our family get-togethers often did not include them. The times we did spend time with them were very special!
In 1953 Ray met my good friend Pat, who I worked with at the bank, when Pat and I were going to lunch. (They always swore that it was a set-up). The attraction was instant and they were married in Texas in 1954. They lived in several states while he was working for Phillips Petroleum searching for oil as a geo-physicist. When they returned to Wisconsin, we were so happy!
Dick had one year of college to finish so we lived a converted attic above our landlord- a retired circus clown-on 34th & Villard. The house had no insulation, we had to share their bathroom and enter through their kitchen, but the rent was cheap. In summer, it was so hot we would just grab our swimsuits and head to the pool or a lake after Dick finished his part-time job at the Boston Store. He was also practice teaching at that time. Our dear friends, Carol and Jim Bennethum, had lived in that apartment while Jim was finishing Marquette, which is how we came to live there. It was a charming attic apartment and we had many happy memories there as newlyweds. When Dick graduated, he was hired by the West Allis/West Milwaukee school system, where he worked for 33 years as a math and science teacher. After graduation, we moved to 64th and Bluemound to another charming upper flat where we had several years of living care-free: traveling, camping and just having fun. We lived there until Lauren was born in 1959. When I found out I was pregnant with her, we really started saving our money – all of my stupendous M&I salary and half of his $3200/ year beginning teachers salary- and in May of 1959 we moved to our house on S. 86th street in what was then known as "Crawford Woods". Grandma Emily Bennetts called it "no oaks", as there were no trees, no streets or sidewalks and we had to move in over boards covering all the mud.
In July, 1960, Lisa entered the world and when the girls were still in diapers our vacations were camping vacations, which we all dearly loved. Dad worked summers at various jobs to make ends meet, especially during the years that he only got paid 9 months of the year. He was self taught in many areas- the best of which were house painting and spot finishing cars. He was a dedicated, hard working family man!
The years we spent in our home on 86th street were filled with many happy memories. Our girls grew up there and we were surrounded by wonderful neighbors, many of which have become life-long friends. Summers were filled with pool parties, barbeques and numerous trips- Colorado, Wyoming, Kentucky, Tennessee and anywhere else Dick thought there would be interesting rock formations. We loved the mountains and camped in the Rocky Mountains and Smokey Mountains with our beloved pop up camper.
In 1992, my dear husband was diagnosed with terminal colon cancer and I lost him on May 13th, one month before our 39th wedding anniversary. His mother, Peg, joined him in 1995. When my dear brother Ray died in 2001, I lost the second most precious man in my life. My sister, Sylvia, passed away a few years later and now they are all in Heaven, along with my parents and so many other beloved family and dear friends. I know they are all waiting for me.
To my daughters, my dear granddaughters and my precious great granddaughter, and all my other family and friends, I love you all dearly, Mom
THE NUMBER 13
Over the course of Mom's life, she noticed that the number 13 was a date that repeatedly corresponded with significant events in her life. She kept a list of the dates and events, which I searched for frantically over the past several days and, after looking EVERYWHERE and not finding it, I sat down, asked my mom for help and within minutes I had a strong desire to look inside the little book in her purse. There it was!
I looked up the number 13 on a numerology website and this is what I found:
"The number 13 is a Karmic number of upheaval, so that new ground can be broken. The number 13 has great power. Adapting to change gracefully will bring out the strength of the 13 vibration and decrease the potential for negative."
"13's are traditionalists, hard workers and organized. 13's go through many trials and tribulations in their search for spiritual consciousness. Their conscience must always be their guide. Number 13 is the number of "right judgment" and their spiritual growth is often gained through pain rather than pleasure. They are very loyal souls and make good friends. Number 13's need a soul mate."
I then looked up "significance of repeating sequence of number 13" and this is what I found:
"The frequency of the repeating sequence of 13 in one's life is referred to as their Angel number. Angel number 13 is a message from your angels that some upheavals may take place in your life. This is happening for Karmic reasons and will break new ground for you that will bring about new opportunities for you to grow spiritually. The angels ask that you adapt to these changes gracefully."
Angel number 13 may be a blessing in disguise and is a message that you are being guided and assisted with your souls mission to go through transitions that will bring you into perfect alignment with your Devine Life Purpose."
This is mom's list of 13's:
June 13: wedding anniversary
July 13: anniversary of life-saving carotid surgery
November 13: Dad got sick
December 13: Dad diagnosed with terminal cancer
May 13: Dad passed away
January 13: Offer to purchase on house
December 13: Mina returned home from UCLA
June 13: Co-signed for Mina's car loan
October 13: Mina's interview with Medical College of Wisconsin
November 13: Mom's life-long dear friend, Don, passed away
January 13: Mina accepted to Medical school
November 13: Planned her funeral, 13 years ago
July 13, 2014: Her obituary was published
Mom always won on #13 at the casino and she lived at 11331 West Oklahoma.
There were most likely more significant dates, but she only started keeping track when my father got sick and she started journaling. Keep in mind that I looked all this up several days after I typed her autobiography and wrote her eulogy. She was definitely a 13 person with an Angel number of 13!
Eulogy for Lorraine Bennetts
July 16, 2014
Written and read by Lisa Tibbals
On behalf of my mom and her entire family, I would like to thank all of you for joining us tonight to honor her, celebrate her life, share stories, to comfort us and each other, laugh with us and cry with us. My mom and I were very close and shared a very open and honest relationship. I know that she would want more laughter and less tears. In her heart and her soul she was ready and prepared to leave us, even if we were not ready to let her go just yet.
Mom was a terrific lady. She was a devoted wife and mother, a loving and cherished grandmother and great-grandmother, a caring and loyal friend, a good neighbor and a dependable, hard worker.
She had a strong faith in God.
Now that you have heard her autobiography, which she wrote for us years ago for "some day when I croak", as she would so eloquently put it, you know her early years were not easy. She was born at a time when our country & our world were in turmoil and her family's lives were difficult and filled with many challenges. Her parents were poor, as was everyone around them and they had to work very hard, often using their talents and ingenuity to come up with creative ways to make and save money. They used what they had conservatively and cherished the simple things in life. As I read her story for the very first time late the other night, I realized that although life was hard and they faced many hardships and struggles, she and her siblings all grew up strong, successful in their lives and their relationships and were all very happy people.
Considering our world today, maybe there's a lesson here. I've always believed that facing life's struggles and challenges and surviving tough times is what makes us stronger, better people. I think her early life experiences helped her along the way to deal with difficult times and accept the fact that life is full of change.
Her stroke at age 50 left her with vision problems and a short term memory deficit, which she hated. But, she didn't complain (much) and managed to continue to live a normal life although she had to leave the job she loved at the bank. She took a course at MATC and learned how to make floral arrangements. She loved flowers so much.
The loss of my dad at age 60 left her heartbroken, feeling lost and alone. Instead of wallowing in self pity and giving up on life, she joined a grief counseling group and made new life-long friends. She became a volunteer at West Allis Memorial Hospital which she enjoyed for 15 years. She tried to be as independent as possible so as not to be a "burden" on us kids. Her many surgeries on her back and neck left her with chronic pain, but again, she tried not to complain, lived alone in an apartment she loved, took care of herself and ran all her own errands until this year. She was always willing to help out her family in times of need and was caring and generous.
She called herself a "tough Norwegian".
I want to share some memories about my mom:
First, she was very, very organized. Her papers, bills, etc, were all in folders, labeled in her file box or neatly placed in her desk. She always knew where everything was. She was SO good about sending cards- for special occasions, anniversaries, get well cards and she never forgot a birthday. I am sorry to say that I did not inherit those traits.
She was very particular- her house was always clean, her yard was always kept, her garden weeded, her clothing ironed. Everything was in its place. In recent years I would go over to her apartment and she would say, "I can't wait for my cleaning gal to come- my place is a mess". It looked fine to me.
She was very particular about her appearance and loved to shop. She always dressed nice in cute outfits with proper accessories, wore jewelry, nail polish, makeup and would not leave the house without putting on her lipstick. And the hair…oh, my… her hair. For as long as I can remember, she had her hair done once a week. Come hell or high water, she had that standing appointment. If the president of the United States himself would have ever invited her to the Whitehouse on a Friday, she would have said, "I'm NOT missing my hair appointment!!!" When she was in ICU on a ventilator after her neck surgery, I had to do her hair.
As kids, our family went on great vacations. Dad taught earth science and was fascinated by rock formations, caves, canyons and mountains, as was mom. Our travels took us camping out west and all around the country to beautiful and interesting places. Places without hairdressers. On these occasions, she brought her trusty wig to wear, which Lauren and I found when cleaning out her apartment. (bring out wig) We had a good laugh.
When I was about 15 we went camping with another family, the Neuperts, in Smoky Mountain National Park. Lauren and I and the Neupert kids, Sue and Pete, were close in age and had fun together. Our parents were great friends and our families did a lot together. We all decided to go horseback riding and were all on our horses, in a line on a narrow trail, parents up front and us kids towards the back. Us teenage girls were busy admiring the very hunky trail guide when we were pulled from our trance by my mothers screams. I am quite certain the guide thought she was getting mauled by a grizzly and her screams were about to start a horse stampede. There is my mom with one hand on her head trying to cover up her smooshed , sweaty hair while the other hand frantically attempted to grasp the wig, which was stuck on a tree branch hovering just out of reach. By now, us kids are laughing hysterically while the irritated trail guy turned his horse around, mosied over to my mom, reached up and with two fingers, took the wig like it was road kill and simply plopped it in her lap. She quickly put it on her head and as we held our sides from laughing, she gave us the evil eye. It is a vision that is engrained into my brain for all eternity as the funniest memory I have of my mom. ( I warned her I was going to tell that story).
The summer before that, we vacationed on a Wyoming dude ranch. Nestled in a valley, surrounded by mountains, with unlimited horseback riding, it was this teenage girls dream. I rode from dawn to dusk and never wanted it to end. Favorite vaca EVER! The ranch was owned and operated by a minister and his family, so on Sunday morning, we all loaded into the jeep which took us up the mountain to a quaint little western town. After attending services in the country church, we all met in the churchyard for "fellowship" time. As we were sipping our punch, we see mom starting this weird little dance- she is saying, "oh…oh….oh, oh, oh, and jumping up and down. Us girls, again being sensitive, caring teenagers, look at her like she's nuts and being SO embarrassing as we all look down to see ants streaming up both her legs. She had been standing on a huge anthill and I'm quite certain she had ants in her pants! Again with the screams, as dad brushed the ants away and we got the evil eye!
Mom and dad loved to travel and while dad was still alive, they went on many trips together. They especially liked cruises. After he passed, she continued to travel, often with her friend Pat Komar, a former neighbor. They went on many trips together and I found a lot of pictures of them on cruises. The dress she is wearing tonight was her favorite dress and she wore it to more than one Captains dinner, as well as a class reunion. When moving her to assisted living, I found the dress and asked her what we should do with it, as she figured she will probably never wear it again. She told me how much she loved it and it brought back so many happy memories. After suggesting to her we save it for her funeral someday, she said, "oh, honey, don't you think it's too dressy?" She was worried about being overdressed for her own funeral! I said, "mom, don't you want to go out is style?"
Well. Tonight she looks fabulous in her fancy dress, the jewelry she wore on her wedding day, her lipstick on and her hair done, just the way she likes it. (Thanks to Kristie, her hairdresser who promised her one final appointment.)
Mom, you are all ready for the party they are throwing for you and you will be at the captains table with dad, cruising the Heavens. I'm putting this wig in just in case there are bad hair days in Heaven.
We love you and we will miss you, but you will always be with us in our hearts.
